I had the first day of my other class today. This one has only 12 students, so I was expecting that it would be more interactive--I speak, students respond ... But students were quiet. I tried to make them laugh to break the ice. They laughed. But soon, the atmosphere chilled down. Mm ... I didn't feel comfortable. I started wondering how much they understood my English, which is really bad because that is a sign that I lost my confidence in myself. But I had to keep talking. I included jokes here and there, students laughed, and the atmosphere chilled down soon. Damn.
One hour and 20 minutes passed, and the lecture ended. I was not feeling well because I couldn't make myself comfortable in class. I started wrapping up. Then, a couple of students came to me and told me that they were excited about this class. Wow. I was surprised because I didn't get that impression from them during the lecture. I appreciate that they are interested in my class. But at the same time, their expectations gave me great pressure. I'm overwhelmed, thinking if I can live up to their expectations ... Ahhh, I'm sure that I will be worn out by the end of this term ...
