Essay Grading

I was still annoyed by essay grading for my GTF class. I believe I'm doing good. If I follow the grading guideline, I have to give some poor grades because their writings are not satisfying. But the instructor seems to try to be generous. She added some points to the papers which I gave fewer points. And I lost my confidence, thinking "Didn't I understand the content of those papers though I read them through three times to make sure that my grading could be justified? Did I do wrong?," etc. I felt devastated.

Essay grading is subjective, and it is impossible to be coherent.

The good news came in the evening. It turned out that the other GTF in my GTF class is also giving some papers low grades because of their poor writings, poor analysis and poor discussion. It is a relief to know that my criteria is similar to his. I was not wrong.

Grading drained my time. That makes me irritated and stressed out ... and my upper lip broke. Damn it.

Football 101

Geez, why Americans get excited when it comes to (American) football?

Saturday is the day of college football. Well, I was not going to go, in fact, I was thinking of reading and doing abstracts as usual. But DG took me to his friends' house to watch the game (our Ducks vs. USC) on TV. Oh, well, my precious three hours ...

Anyhow, I saw an interesting scenery of American culture there. There were three guys and six girls in total in front of TV, and I realized that only guys reacted every single movement in the game, and girls ... were chatting of something different by ignoring noisy guys. I learned that American football is a totally man thing.

It was "football 101" for me. DG would never give up converting me into a football fan by explaining the rules. Oh, well, you will see.

The delightful thing is that DG took me there to get me involved in their circle.

Power of Flower

It might be an old trick, but still, flower works today. This simple red rose made me throbbed, warming my heart. I like the guy who gave me this magical thing very much. It is comfortable (100 percent stress-free) to be with him, and that's really something to me.

Relief

I don't like Thursdays. It's a long day when I'm mentally devastated by Prosem.

Anyhow, there was one little good thing tonight. I just want to write it down.

Feeling down after a long day, I was walking to where I parked my bike. It was kind of dark though it was still 6:40 p.m. or something. When I got to my bike, someone was unlocking his bike which was just next to my bike. Seeing him, I realized that he was a guy from the class I'm GTFing. And what is worse, he is the guy who complained my grading on his essay question (I gave him 0 point, and I believe the professor defended my grading on my behalf).

"Uh-oh, this is a really uneasy situation. He hates me. What should I do?" I thought. But it is true that he is a student who I know. So, I said, "Hi." Surprisingly, he replied, "Hi." While I was unlocking my bike, he left, saying "See ya." Wow, that's great. And I said, "Have a good weekend." And he said, "You, too." That is really great. Maybe it's too early to conclude, but he doesn't seem to hate me. Oh, what a relief after a long devastating day!

Come to think of it, he is cute. Definitely. OK, now I'm encouraged to grade their essay assignments. 45 papers to go!

Rain Boots

I have been so excited to have this rain boots delivered. Rain boots are a must here because we have rain everyday more or less. Oh, well, today was an exception. It was a perfect day with bright sunshine, without rain and wind. Come on, give me an opportunity to put on these rain boots!

Gahhhhh!

I'm gonna kill cutural studies! What are those scholars saying? I just can't get it from their articles. Yeah, I remember I had a really hard time to understand Stuart Hall in Cardiff. Hall's encoding-decoding model is interesting, and I like it actually. But those scholars including him tend to think culture in complicated way in which I easily get lost. Hall's writings are puzzling ... almost mysterious to me. Geez, it's totally frustrating.

Young Students

I felt kind of generation gap today in the class I'm doing TA. The class had an exam today, which was not difficult at all if you attended classes and read the textbook. During the exam, I was asked questions from some students (I praise their bravity to ask me questions because I barely speak English), and I became speechless to hear the questions. One student asked me if he could keep the exam paper after the exam. Definitely no! You have to write down on it and hand it in. Didn't you listen to the professor's instruction?! One student asked me if 1885 is the 18th century or 19th century. What?! I doubted my ears. We are living in 2007 and at the same time in the 21st century. Guess from the present! One student asked what UNESCO stands for. I got a headache.

Young students are still cute to me, but I cannot simply understand them. Why didn't they get prepared for the exam? The professor explained again and again about the exam and gave specific areas which would be on the exam. If they read the textbook, the exam might have been pretty easy. Don't they care about grades at all?

After the exam, I graded essay parts of the exam. It was almost a comedy that majority of the exam-takers made up stories. I don't think I'm a strict marker, but I can't help giving them 0 point. They're gonna hate me.

Obnoxious Letter Afterward

As I wrote here a couple days ago, I received an obnoxious letter from the admissions office, saying that I will not be allow to register for next quarter becasue the office hasn't received the official transcripts from my univeristy in the U.K. Oh, I miss my days in Cardiff now.

Anyhow, I went to the admissions office in the morning to show them the transcripts which I have in my hand here. The receptionist checked my application form, which is managed online (that's cool). The database said that the office has transcripts from my university in Japan but doesn't have them from my university in the U.K. How come? I handed them in when I applied for the J school! Wait, in the first place, why the office isn't satisfied with my degrees from my univeristy in Japan?!

Getting agnry is meaningless. I'm in the States. Calm down. OK.

So, what I did next is to explain that I handed in the transcripts from Cardiff University and it was your fault if you lost them, but I had the transcripts that you needed with me. Then she called someone else, and someone else showed up in a minute to pick up the transcripts to make copies of them. And ... I'm all set. Theoretically, I can register for next term. If there's no problem to update the data online ... My fingers crossed because unpredictable things happen all the time here. Oh, well, if I'm not allowed to register, I could spend for 10 weeks doing nothing. That might be a good option. No, I don't think so.

Headache

Here comes a headache again. Since yesterday afternoon, I've been suffering from headaches. Once I take medicines, headaches are supposed to be relieved. But today, it is not the case. I took medicines, but they didn't erase the pain. What's wrong with me? Yeah, I know. It's because of an essay for Prosem. I didn't construct the structure of the essay, and that stressed me out.

So, after I failed to find out what to do, I asked for brainstorming to DM. Then he told me something that I hadn't expected. He said that I shouldn't wait until stress got over me to ask for help. I was stressed out because I couldn't figure out what the essay should be like, but I think students have to figure it out by themselves or at least try to do so at first. And I did. Am I wrong? Oh, well, I might be too Japanese to think this way.

But brainstorming with DM helped me a lot, and my essay is almost done now though it's not completed yet.

I wonder how many more times I will go through this stressful moment. Sigh ...

Delight of Fall

Isn't this tree beautiful? I found it near the music school, rushed back home, grabbed my camera (well, it's my brother's, to be honest) and came back to take a photo. I wish the fall and nice weather last long ... I heard four months of dark, gloomy, rainy, damp weather are coming soon. Geez, I'm gonna be depressed.

Roller Derby

This was hillarious. I had some kind of culture shock. It's ridiculously American! Roller Derby is the name of the event tonight. Girls, well, people a little older than girls, wearing punk clothes and roller skates, ran round on the track, hitting and pushing each other. Well, I'm not a person who loves violent sports such as boxing at all, so I didn't like the hitting and pushing part of Roller Derby. But it's still fun to see and experience an "American" thing.

Invoice After Invoice ...

Invoices are continuously coming to me. Electronic, cellphone (which charged me unexpected amount!), the Internet ... Give me a break, American profit-pursuing corporations! I don't have a steady income here, you know. Well, I have a tiny amount of stipend from my university and another tiny amount of moonlighting money from my former company. Yeah, I have to appreciate that, otherwise, I'm really, simply a poor student.

Oh, right, another obnoxious letter came to me today. It is from Admissions Office of my university. It says that my registration for the winter term is blocked because I haven't handed in the official transcript from my university in the U.K. Are they kidding me? Of course, I did when I applied for the school here. Why do I have to pour my energy in something that I don't have to?! Be rational, save energy! Anyhow, there is no choice other than going to the office and complain even though I know it's waste of energy and time. Sigh ...

Trick of Cellphone

What?! I owe $66 for using my cellphone last month. You must be kidding?! My plan is $30 per month and it includes 200 minutes free talk, isn't it? Have I talked on the phone more than 200 minutes? I don't think so.

But the invoice says I spent 360 minutes! What the hell!

I was informed after I read a blog on "Bonnie Blue in Norwich" that when you get a call from someone, the call costs the caller's as well as your minutes. Gee, is it possible? It doesn't happen in Japan. Cellphone comapnies in Japan just want their customers to use as much as possible, beyond their price plan. If they charge incoming call, who would pick up the phone? What they want to do is to make their customers to use their phones unconsicously, without noticing how much they are consuming their minutes. In that sense, Japanse cellphone companies have more tricky price systems. Who could clearly understand those system other than system managers anyway?

Anyhow, I learned something from the invoice: My price plan doesn't cover all calls that I have and I must control calls in 200 minutes maximum regardless of outgoing adn incoming calls.

Agh, cellphone gives me a hard time ... I remember I had a hard time in Cardiff too. Gee ...

Escapist

I spent a day by ignoring what I really have to. What I really have to is to prepare for facilitating class discussion tomorrow. Well, I just didn't feel like it. Even if I prepare for it, I would feel miserable after class as I did last week. I felt exactly the same way in Terry's seminar in Cardiff, I remember. Even if I think I understood what the article says, I can't express what I learned from it. Is it because of my English or because I simply don't understand the article though I think I understood? Forget it! Forget it! I don't need to feel miserable before class.

I don't want to see people listening to me with the knot between their brows. What's wrong with my English?! Aghhhhhh! Yeah, I know, pronunciation, grammar, shallow thinking and everthing cause trouble to me. But what can I do? Sigh ...

Cut it out! I said myself that I don't want to feel miserable now. Geez, am I a patient of multiple personality disorder or something? You've got to be kidding me.

Emotionless Manager

As I said several times here before, the manager is handsome, or cute from a perspective of my age (yeah, I know I'm old. You don't have to waste your breath).

He showed up at my door in the morning with his emotionless face. But he's cute anyway. Ah, I realize something. It is a privilege for women at my age to call someoner younger than us cute. If you're young enough to be a love interest and you call someone cute, you are thought that you have insterest in him who you call cute. But I, categorized out of love interest, can call handsome boys handsome, cute, sexy or whatever freely! This is fun!

Anyway, the manager came to wipe my oven and fix the curtain rail in my bedroom. I was busy that time doing abstracts (as usual!), but I was almost to say, "You are handsome. Why don't you smile? Then you will be much more handsome!" as I did to CB in Cardiff. It worked for CB. CB started making smile to me after that.
Hmm, I should tell him next time. But what if he gets offended? He'd never maintain my apartment ... that's scarey.

Beautiful Sunday

Oh, I love the fall here. Trees are now so pretty. Isn't this photo beautiful? Those are trees in front of the business school.

What is more, today, it was really really sunny! Why not go out and enjoy the sun?

Unfortunately, my bike-ride friend, DG, was not available this afternoon. Gee, that was too bad he had to stay at home grading when it was incredibly sunny.

Anyhow, I biked around the town for a little and went to the library. Well, the NIKE library (the NIKI founder built the library) is kind of my second house. I spend majority of my time there. I sat on a bench outside for a while, enjoying the sun, and ... got cold. Gee, I'm too sensitive to the cold. So, I went inside. My favorite NIKE library cozy sofas welcomed me as usual.

What I was surprised at is that many people were studying. Well, it might be understandable, given that it's almost time for undergrads to write the first term paper. But it's Sunday, and many people were studying. That amazed me.


This is a photo of the NIKE library of today, by the way, which is built by a tiny portion of NIKE's huge profits gained from cheap labor in sweat shops in the Global South.

What's This?

WARNING: a grotesque image is shown in this post.


See this reification of metabolic syndrome!

No, I don't mean to boast my metabolic stomach here. I just want to say, "What's that?!" I've got something in my belly. I noticed is a few days ago and forgot about it. Today, I realized it again and touched it. It was hard, and I felt a clot under the skin ... and it broke, bleeding! Wwwwwhat's that, seriously?!

Sake

As I said here (and everywhere) before, I don't like meeting people who I don't know. I'm a really really shy person. But tonight's party was kind of obligation for students in the first year because students before us were throwing a party for us. And it'd not be a big deal because I know some of them already and I know my cohort, of course. But still, I hesitated like, "Well, it's cold outside ... a little later would be fine ... oh, I will write emails before I go ..." and something like that. Actually, it was cold.

At the moment I decided to leave, I got a call from DG, and he offered me a ride. Thank Buddha! Thank DG! So, he and his friends kindly came to pick me up, and I finally got to the party.

Party ... I don't like the word. I prefer nomikai, which is more familiar to me.

Anyway, I was there, at the "party" ... and I found sake there! Oh, man, I was glad to be there. Sake! The sake is not perfect to my taste, but still good, better than American beer or cheap wine.

Beside sake, it was good to share something with other students in a relaxing manner. And I wonder, "Why they are so relaxed?!," while I'm kind of tensed, not that seriously though. I hope I would be like them next year.

Genuine

My genuine driver's license was mailed today, hooray!

October

Wow, it's October already. Time flies at sonic speed. It's October, and that means I've here for one month already. What can I say? ... Wow.

New Record

Yeehaw, I made a new record! A record of staying late in the library. It's 11:00 p.m., and I broke my own record of 10:30 p.m. Yay!

... Wait. Is this a thing that I should be proud of? I don't think so, or no one thinks so.

Well, I'm coming back to the old same question: What am I doing?!

There's Another Thing

I was devastated in class as usual. I go like, "Oh, how stupid I am! Anything that I read and thought I understood doesn't stick in my head?! What's the problem of my brain? Am I an Alzheimer's patient or something?! Someone, fix my brain, ahhhhh!"

Anyhow, I'm not going to tell my story of class inferno here on and on and on and on ... because it will only make me feel miserable. So, let's look at the bright side of my life.

When I came home in the afternoon, not after I made a new record in the library, carpenters were busy changing windows of every unit of my apartment complex. They started doing this yesterday and they've done half of the units.

Anyhow, because a kind of refurbishing is going on here, both the general manager and manager are here to supervise what is going on. When I came home, I came across the general manager and chatted with him for a little while. Actually, I asked him to have a piece of duct tape to fix my balance ball, which came too close to the heater and blew up last night. The general manager told me he would give it in a minute ... and he forgot. Well, he's American, you know.

Because I had a class in the evening, I left home again. And I came back home again to eat before going to the library, of course. I saw the general manager and asked him again a piece of duct tape. When we were chatting, the manager came in sight. So, the general manager asked him to get it for me on his behalf. The manager was cool as usual, emotionless in another word. But he's cool anyway.

He was busy picking his hangnail. So, I asked him to get his attention, "Well, is it easy to find the duct tape or hard to find it?" And he replied me, "It's easy," and rushed to get it. Hmm, he's cute, isn't he?

After a while, he showed up at my door with a duct tape in his hand, saying like, "We have a bunch of them if you like." Isn't he cute. Yes, he is. I explained to him what happened to my balance ball, and he said, "Oh, it blew up, huh?," and left with smile on his face. Absolutely, he's cute when he smiles. And it helped me out of the class nightmare (or evening-mare if there's such a word?)

Unfortunately, the duct tape didn't work. My balance ball is dead now.