There was the third session with my counselor this morning. I told him that I encountered the beach ball in the past couple of weeks. When he asked how I reacted, I told him that I tried not to look at it and wait until it's gone because I was not confident enough to see it squarely. But at least, I didn't try to fight with it as I used to do, you know? Then, he gave me a piece of advice. He told me I should train myself to look at it objectively, like, "OK, here's the beach ball coming toward me. OK, let's look at myself. Well, myself is feeling nervous, anxious. The beach ball is passing by and gone. Now, I'm feeling relieved." According to him, as long as I avoid to look at it, nothing can be solved. It needs training, and after I get used to it, the beach ball becomes just a beach ball literally.
Man, it's really difficult (and expensive) to get over this breakup thing.
